Things have gotten much better. I discovered that the birth control my doctor put me on has some very nasty side-effects. It's taken me this long to go back to my "normal" self. I was scared out of my wits. I awoke every morning thinking of suicide, and how I could make it look like an accident. That stuff needs to be taken off of the market.

The Man strikes again. Since I knew I'd have to work with him occasionally and I wanted to just make things liveable, I agreed to talk to him. We scheduled a time and he didn't call. I gave him hell and he said he'd tried - right. The next night I said I'd be available after 9pm. We agreed closer to 10 would be better. He called at 9:45 to say he was "running and errand" and would be 1-2 hours. He sent me a message at 2:45 am. An errand? I wonder who she was... I was pissed. I also found out that the son-of-a-bitch is at Hedonism this week. He took the whole week off to have fun. This is a man who swore he "just doesn't have enough time for me" and "can't treat me the way I deserve to be treated". Selfish, self-serving asshole. Let's face it. He played with me, enticed me to make the kind of committment to him that is necessary for a D/s relationship and then got bored and dumped me. I would be happy if I NEVER have to see him again as long as I live. What I really want to do is spit on him, but that might get me in trouble at work. Karma baby. It's coming and I hope it's a doozy.

I am back to searching for someone to share my sexual proclivities. I am toying with the idea of being the Domme this time. Knowing what's involved, I need to be sure I'm ready and that I am willing to commit. I don't want to put anyone through what I've been through. It might be easier if I find a switch. We'll see how it goes. School is over (I passed the courses as well as the national standard exams, just the state exam left) so I'm back to having plenty of time on my hands.

Hmmm. What can I get into next?

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