A nod to http://marinka-mp.diaryland.com/index.html. Thanks for noticing me, even if you don't really know what to think of me yet... Read at your own risk.

Maybe I should have introduced myself before jumping into my sourdid little world, hmmm? And since I will be as nakedly honest and forthcoming as humanly possible, I guess I should give you some background so you may better understand me. Well, here goes:

I grew up in a cold, primarily Irish Catholic area of the country. I was adopted into and lived in a household where mom stayed home with the kids and dad worked. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but I grew up thinking that's the way it had to be. I went to Catholic school until my junior year. I was SEVERELY inexperienced and uninformed about sex. It's taken decades to get over the guilt of enjoying it and maybe not doing it in the missionary position every time.

I've always worked in a man's world. After college I went into the business world. I lived under the addage that you dress for the job you want, not necessarily for the job you have. I rarely wore pants. I was always in a skirt suit and heels, hair done and makeup on. Men tended to overlook me (unless it was in a sexual way) or treat me as if I were the secretary even when I was the boss. I always felt like I had to prove myself. Be the iron bitch rather than useless woman. I refused to wear pink because I considered it a watered-down version of a strong color - red. I was successful, good at what I did, finally respected, but bored.

Two years ago I decided I needed to get out. I was tired of being in an office all day, watching the clock tick the hours away and doing the same thing over and over. I wanted to get a job where the scenery changed every day. So I quit, took a healthy pay cut and went into public safety. I was thrown into a field where women are scarce and men feel free to "let it all hang out". I did not get cut any slack because I was a woman. I was expected to perform overwhelmingly difficult physical tasks that some men cannot perform. And I made it. The people I work with have forged a bond with each other beyond friendship, beyond family. Even if they hate you, they will come to your aid before they will take care of anyone else. We take care of our own.

That said, my Dom is someone I work with. I come into this with a pre-forged bond. I know that as a coworker he will take care of me and I him and as my Dom, it makes the bond that much stronger. His smile is infectious, his demeanor gregarious, his voice deep and his anger terrible. He can scare the devil out of me, and I don't scare easy. He is never abusive, but he is firm. In order for this arrangement to work between two people, the Sub must have an all-consuming respect and admiration for their Dom and want to please them no matter what the task. This is how I feel about him. I have this insatiable urge to bend to his will. I cannot explain it in order for you to understand it fully. I want him to teach me. I want him to introduce me to things I said I would never do. I want him to take all responsibility. I am here only to serve him.

All of my life I have been unable to give up control. I needed to know where, what, how and why. I expect this experience to teach me how to hand that control over to someone else. It will be the hardest, yet the most thrilling thing I have ever done. And I'm scared.

I have been perpetually aroused for the last few days. I cannot seem to satiate myself. Today I was compelled to send him a text message at 10:41am asking permission to masturbate and cum. I received the following in reply:

"OK. When you're done, lick your fingers and tell me how much you like the taste."

I obeyed and sent him a text telling him that it was a hard taste to describe, kind of "tangy". I was graced with a reply that "Now my dick is hard". Have not heard from him since. I suspect I will have to text him again tonight and ask for permission as I have still not succeeded in satisfying my carnal senses. Can't figure this out at all....

I will be working directly with him tomorrow and have decided to give him his first gift. My house key. He should be allowed 100% access to me at whatever time of day or night he sees fit. Part of the thrill is not knowing when he'll be dropping by at 2am to tie me to the bed and violate every orifice. Wonderful..... I can't wait.

<< welcome >>