The Man finally made it to my place last night. Number one daughter was occupying his time, so as usual he was over an hour later than he had planned. Because the oldest will not go to her mom's house when it's mom's turn to have custody, there was no hope he would stay at my place overnight. And he didn't.

The night started out being very tense. Alot of small-talk. I finally asked him if he was still uncomfortable. I have learned that if I don't initiate these conversations that we will make "nice" all night long. Because of the time limit, I knew I had to make the most of my opportunity to talk about the important things.

The Man admitted that he still felt a little wary. As we talked I made him understand that he is the type that communicates his feelings with body language and touch. He is not verbal with me. He didn't realize this, but it made sense to him. I told him that since we have very little time to spend together, he needs to be more vocal about things like that. He realized that he had been assuming I knew how he felt all along. His feelings are definitely apparent in the way that he kisses me. And oh did he kiss me last night. But that was all he did. I felt like a teenager again! It was getting late, his daughter had called an hour before and told him she was home, so it was time to go. He thanked me for setting him a little more at ease, and he went home.

Again I am reminded at how much I do not want to be without this man. I am never so at peace than when I am just there next to him. It doesn't matter in what capacity he is with me, as a boyfriend or as a Master. I love the D/s dynamic, but we talked about that last night and I made it clear to him that it is never so attractive as it is with him. The Doorman would be exciting for a while, but I can't see it working long-term. We both know that we want to be Master and kitty again one day, but now there is too much to worry about in both of our lives. I can't see it working with his time constraints unless we are living together. We'll see what the year brings.

Next time he visits, I hope he has more in store for me than kissing. It's nice, but god knows we both need more!

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