<< My heart breaks a little more >>
2007-01-06, 11:54 a.m.

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT. If you're going to be offended, stop reading now and close the window....

Yesterday I had to work an entire shift with my former master. I spent the first half trying not to burst into tears and failed quite a few times. In the morning I was sitting in the office when he had the following conversation with a coworker:

Coworker: So, who are you running around with these days?

Him: Just running, just running.

Coworker: Ha! Running away?

Him: Yeah, that seems to be what I'm doing.

So he got the message loud and clear. I'm not sure if that statement was a jab at me or a real thought. He's not the type to make jabs, especially when he knows they'll hurt. I could not face him at all. Most times if he asked me a question, I looked down and shook my head yes or no. I could not look at his face. I wanted so badly to talk to him, find out why he still hasn't answered my email, but the words would not come. There was alot of silence. This morning I sent him a message telling him that the day had been very hard on me and I wasn't sure what to do because he hadn't answered me. I got no response. How can he be so cruel?

You know what the worst part was? I realized that he freely shows affection to those around him that he considers no threat. Calls them sweetheart and shows all sorts of emotion. Every time I heard it, it twisted that knife in my heart ever so slightly.

I can't take seeing him again soon. I need to be away from him for a while.

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