<< Looking for a Pet >>
2006-11-18, 6:28 p.m.

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT. If you're going to be offended, stop reading now and close the window....

i added an entry a few days ago but it didn't take for some reason. Sorry Jammy....

Things are still hanging in limbo. It's been three weeks today since i've had any "adult" time with Master. i know He has been busy with kids, work and school as well as whatever the crisis-of-the-day is. It seems that when He does get a break from the kids, He studies. Today He called to say that the little ones were at their mom's for the weekend and he only had the oldest. So why, pray tell, did he not take an hour out for me? He's studying. i got the promise of "if I get finished I'll give you a call tonight". Yeah. Not holding my breath. He called me wednesday night and asked me to come over and spend time with Him. This was kind of a watch Him put in a new dishwasher date. He fed me alcohol which only served to make me sleepy. i actually had to stay an extra hour to sober up a bit before i went home to my cold, empty house. If i sound bitter, i don't mean to. i'm frustrated and horny as a teenage boy at a Sports Illustrated swimsuit photo shoot. i told Him that night that when i show my frustration or tell Him that i miss Him, i am not doing it to make Him feel guilty. i want Him to feel wanted and loved. But i also need Him to know that i need some attention too. Unfortunately i seem to be WAY down on the list of priorities.

On another subject....i have asked Master about me becoming a Mistress. The opportunity may be presenting itself. Tuesday night while out partying with some classmates, one of them expressed an interest in becoming my "pupil". He made several comments that made me believe that he is familiar with the lifestyle. I got the feeling that he would be someone who would enjoy "scenes", but may not be interested in a 24/7 commitment. i discussed the idea with Master and he believes that i am ready to take on a slave with his guidance. He knows the man in question and believes he would be interested. I told the prospective pupil that we would need to talk and see if we were looking for the same thing and were interested in the same activities. i'm sensing some hesitation on the pupil's part. i think he is trying to figure out if he can trust me. i must tell you that because of the lack of attention i am receiving, the idea of my very own pet is interesting. i have already started to design a list of rules i will want him to follow, whomever he ends up being. Major undertaking, i assure you. But the thought pleases me. It also makes me a bit uncomfortable. i am thinking about this with Master's blessing, but i wish i knew how He really felt. Does He feel betrayed? Is he worried that i will leave Him? I'm sure He won't tell me.

i'm getting a bit tired. i'm hoping He comes tonight. But again, not holding my breath. *sigh*

<< welcome >>


current | archives | profile | links | rings
email | gbook | notes | host | image | design