We've slipped into a bout of "normal". Cold season has arrived and due to our close proximity, my coworkers and I are passing around a particularly nasty bout of something. I'm getting sick.

Yesterday Master stopped by because I was having problems with my car. He took me to where it decided it was not going to start so we could try to figure out what was wrong with it and it started right up. It's trying to make a liar out of me again!

Very soon after meeting Master I remember him telling me that he was not used to women finding him attractive. He has lost alot of weight in the last year (90 lbs), so I think he still thinks of himself as fat. Initially I was a little worried that the only reason he wanted to be with me was because I found him attractive. I don't think this would work if I didn't find him attractive, but I don't want that to be the only reason he sticks around. Otherwise, what happens when another woman finds him attractive? In our situation, these are things I cannot dwell on....but there it is. That being said....

Master is rarely "soft" around me. He seems to have this perpetual hard-on. Yesterday he had come from a 24-hour shift where he got almost no sleep, gone to class and then came to my house at about 12:30. After we got back to my place, we sat in our usual spot on the couch, me curled up next to him. Since he never wears underwear, it was easy to see the bulge in his pants. I commented about it and he replied that he was sweaty and hadn't showered in over 24 hours and that he didn't think I wanted to be with him like that. I told him it didn't matter, I'd take him any way I could get him. That made an impression. He will probably never again discuss his own self-consciousness (that was discussed before we began this relationship), but I know he has doubts about his attractiveness as I do about mine. I made him feel good yesterday and he told me so. As Master was getting off of the phone last night, he said that normally he would not say this, but he thanked me for the afternoon. And in another interesting twist, he has invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner with him and possibly the family. No pressure there!

Last night Master and I discussed a little more about what is to come. Monday night while he was working, I was contacted by a Master who lives fairly close. Since we are looking for people to play with, I talk to people in certain chat rooms. If they seem like people we would like to get involved with, I will forward them on to Master. This particular Master was respectful, nice, and made it clear that he would scoop me up in a heartbeat. We moved to a private chat and that's where things got a little different. He wanted me to undress for him (Master allowed me to dress that day). I contacted Master and told him I was unsure how to proceed. I was not opposed to the idea, but something about it didn't feel right. Master told me that if it would excite ME to undress, that I could. If I was doing it because it excited him, not to do it. It's kind of a conundrum. It excites me that someone will be excited to see me.....see what I mean? I decided not to go through with it because it was a grey area. I told the other Master this and he told me that the fact that I was so loyal and adoring to my Master made him want me more. He wanted to contact Master and get to know him so that he could meet us someday. This interaction brought a whole new level of consciousness to me. It seems that it is rare that a Master and slave have such an intimate relationship as we do. I am completely devoted to him and other Masters know it and want the same for themselves. They tell me that Master is very lucky to have me. Master's reaction to this Master was interesting. I now have a new rule. I cannot play one-on-one with anyone online.

As for further interaction with others, I asked Master a few questions. I am to see the doctor next week and asked if I should consider birth control. Master has had a vasectomy, so I am not worried about him. He said that no one will be allowed near me without protection, so it's not necessary unless I want to do it. We all know that birth control is never 100%, so I am considering it. As for the question about men cumming in my mouth, he said that I should stop before it happens. No man will be allowed to do that. I told him it's not always apparent when it will happen. He said that if that's the case, the time I will spend with any one man will not be long enough for that to occur. They may cum on me, but nowhere in me.

I have to go start a normal day now. I have an exam this afternoon and have many latin words I have to remember. Ick.

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